he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
