i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
