I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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