id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
