So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
