Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
