Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
