soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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