its not stalking. its research.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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