I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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