so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
