He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
