its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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