I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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