"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
