No, you can still breathe under the balls.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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