hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
