We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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