If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
