worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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