Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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