I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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