I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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