You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
