he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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