So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is it because I queefed?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
