This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
