So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
