these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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