In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
that is very illegal...i love you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
