i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
