I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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