i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
