Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
