I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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