i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i love accidental penises.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just had sex on a roof
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
