I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
