We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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