dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
