You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
