got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
