i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
