final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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