I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
we're so committed to being not committed
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
