I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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