I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
