The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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