K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
