It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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