I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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