Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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