the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
